Eloping vs. Having a Wedding: Which is Right for You?
Hi there! We’re Tana and Cory Metcalf @ Roaming Desert Film Co. - a husband and wife photo/video team, located in Utah! We love exploring all that the world has to offer and taking our doggos and cameras along for the journey, as well!
When it comes to getting married, there are so many choices to make: the dress, the venue, the food, how to personalize it and, of course, the style of ceremony. One of the most significant decisions you’ll face is whether to elope or host a traditional wedding. Both options come with their own set of pros and cons, and choosing the right one for you and your partner can be a deeply personal choice.
So, let’s dive into the pros and cons of eloping versus having a big wedding day that hosts a lot of people, and help you figure out which option is best for you.
Eloping: A More Intimate Affair
What is Eloping?
Eloping typically means running off to get married, without the fanfare of a big ceremony or hosting hundreds of guests, opting instead for a more intimate experience - often with just a couple of close witnesses (or even just the two of you). This is usually done in a scenic location, with a day filled with experiences that are authentically the two of you. It’s about a more private moment shared between you and your partner.
Pros of Eloping:
Simplicity and Stress-Free Planning: Elopements are often more spontaneous and require much less planning than a traditional wedding, a lot of elopement photographers help with planning, offer it for an additional fee, or include a planner in their all inclusive packages. This takes a lot of stress off of your shoulders. You don’t have to worry about finding a venue, managing a guest list, or deciding on décor. The focus is entirely on you and your partner, and you can design your day around what truly matters to you.
Lower Costs: Traditional weddings can be extremely expensive, with costs easily reaching tens of thousands of dollars. Eloping, on the other hand, tends to be much more affordable, as you’re cutting out the need for large venues, catering, decorations, and a long guest list. You can often spend that money on something you’ll remember forever—like a romantic honeymoon or an unforgettable experience. PS you can even elope WHERE your honeymoon will take place and go from one straight into the other!
More Personal and Intimate: Without the distraction of hundreds of guests, you can create a ceremony that’s entirely unique to you and your partner. This is a moment just for the two of you to express your love and commitment in a way that feels right for you. The personal connection can be incredibly meaningful. Though family on a big wedding day mean to help, often times their strong opinions will shape the way the wedding day looks for you and your wants, elopements can be totally your design.
Freedom to Choose Your Location: If you’ve dreamed of getting married on a mountaintop, by the beach, or in a cozy cabin, eloping gives you the freedom to choose a location that reflects your personality and love story. Whether it’s an intimate backyard ceremony or a trip to a destination you both love, you have the flexibility to create a dream setting.
Following the beat of your own drum: If you value being nontraditional and not being put in a box that society sees fit, if you value living YOUR authentic life, if you value following your path, or maybe you have a family who is not very supportive or healthy to be around, eloping might be for you.
Cons of Eloping:
Missing Out on Family and Friends: If you have family members and friends who are eager to be a part of your special day, eloping might feel like you're leaving them out. While you can always host a smaller celebration afterward, some might feel hurt or left behind, especially if they were hoping to witness your vows.
Less Traditional Celebrations: If you’ve always dreamed of walking down the aisle or having a big reception with dancing, food, speeches, and a reunion type feel, eloping might not give you the traditional wedding experience you’ve envisioned. It’s an unconventional approach, which could feel like you’re missing out on some of the classic moments that people often associate with weddings.
Traditional Weddings: A Grand Celebration of Love
What is a Traditional Wedding?
A traditional wedding typically involves a large ceremony, usually attended by family and friends, followed by a reception with food, music, and dancing. The couple often wears formal attire, and there may be various customs, rituals, and celebrations depending on cultural or religious traditions.
Pros of a Traditional Wedding:
Celebrating with Loved Ones: One of the biggest advantages of a traditional wedding is the ability to share the moment with your closest family and friends. For many people, having a large celebration is important for showing their love and gratitude to those who have been there for them. There’s something special about having all the people you care about in one place to witness your vows.
The Full Wedding Experience: From the dress to the cake to the first dance, traditional weddings are full of iconic moments that many couples cherish. If you’ve always dreamed of a big day with a grand entrance, speeches, and dancing the night away, a traditional wedding gives you the opportunity to create that magical experience.
A Sense of Tradition: If you’re someone who values family traditions or cultural customs, a traditional wedding offers the opportunity to incorporate those elements into your ceremony. It’s an occasion to honor your heritage and create lasting memories that might become a part of family history.
Cons of a Traditional Wedding:
High Costs: The average cost of a traditional wedding can be significant. Between the venue, catering, attire, photographer, videographer, entertainment, and decorations, costs can quickly add up. For many couples, paying for a large wedding can become a financial strain.
Stress and Planning: Traditional weddings require a lot of planning and coordination. From creating a guest list to choosing a venue and handling logistics, the process can be overwhelming. The pressure of making everything perfect can lead to stress and anxiety, sometimes taking the joy out of the occasion.
Pressure to Meet Expectations: With a traditional wedding, you might feel pressure to live up to expectations from family members, friends, or even societal norms. Whether it’s having a lavish reception or wearing a certain style of dress, you may find yourself compromising on what you truly want to please others.
Which One is Right for You?
Ultimately, the decision to elope or have a traditional wedding depends on your personal values, priorities, and budget. Here are some key questions to ask yourself:
Do I value intimacy and simplicity, or do I want a big celebration with family and friends?
How much do I want to spend on this day, and what’s the best way to allocate my resources?
Do I care about traditional customs, or do I want something unique and spontaneous?
Am I more interested in creating memories with my partner, or do I want to involve everyone I know in the celebration?
Remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some couples choose to elope for the simplicity and cost savings, while others want to celebrate their love in a grand way with a full traditional wedding. Whatever choice you make, what matters most is that it reflects you and your partner’s vision for your life together.
Whether you elope or have a wedding, it’s your love story—and it deserves to be told in a way that feels authentic and true to you.
I hope this helps in making your decision!
